Singleness ... again ...

"Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the grounds that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in reality, THEY'RE amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

Got this from Becka ... her litmus test to siphon the wisechumps from the wise ... i passed.

Here I am ... alone again, naturally ... thinking about this one girl Anna and why she's simply polite to me and not really into me. I've been wondering why, EVEN with two years of committed singleness left, I haven't been able to make a good impression on a girl. Becka says that, even in an "apples at the top of the tree" scheme, first impressions still count, but some girls do look past that if all you are is merely shy and Forrest Gump-y around new people. If so, then the rumors are true.

What's been eating at me recently is this line: "When I first met you I liked you," as said by the girl my friend's sorta pursuing. I introduced them to each other. Last week.

My sister and I had a talk a while back. Actually it was me moping about how everyone, Christians included, still include appearance as part of their criteria when they meet someone new, even the slightest bit. I don't know, some folks with really good personalities and great hearts get overlooked because they don't look all that. I mean, come on, if a girl had to choose between two guys, both with great personalities, great hearts for Christ, but one of them looked better than the other, WHO would she choose? Go figure.

My sister was smart, though. The morning after she placed a pink sticky note on my cellphone that said, "Hope In God!"

Katzy says I shouldn't have to worry about these things and simply keep on praying, because God knows my desire ... Psalm 37:4 ... I told him about Chuck Smith's interpretation of that ... that God would take these "old desires" (like wanting to have someone) and replace them with "new desires" (like seeing His kingdom advance).

We got into the whole thing about "if being single makes you more prone to sexual sin, then God knows that", going over 1 Corinthians 6 I think. It's a new approach to the subject. I've heard two sermons about that passage ... on provisions for single people and married people ... one from Jeff Johnson and the other from Bob Coy ... sigh ...

As a teenager, I've always held on to this notion that when I DO meet HER, it would all work out ... that God would simply orchestrate everything to perfection for both me and her ... As my idealism wore out and my life got more complicated I kinda let go if it ... maybe I need to revisit it one of these days ... my faith has been worn out as of recent when it comes to these things. Sigh.

Maybe the real answer in all of this isn't trying to attack the institution of dating and coming up with practical solutions. Maybe the answer isn't really coming up with an alternative Christian model to this whole scheme ... this game ... maybe the answer really IS waiting on Him, and actually holding on to hope that He does miracles, even in things like these. Holding on to seemingly ridiculous faith that He does care about my needs, even in something like this.

Matthew 6:33 ... Proverbs 3:5-6 ...

On nights like these you don't really learn anything new, though you hope that you do. You simply reaffirm to yourself what you already know and just keep holding on to that much.

God, I wish I wasn't so jaded and cynical.