Okay, okay, okay! I'm insecure.

Insecurity is my greatest weakness.

Whenever I'm insecure, I do stupid things. I say stupid crap and I think the worst thoughts about the people of my life. Last night I found myself saying I had a track record of liking girls who were nuts, when in reality (despite their issues - and who doesn't have those?) they were some of the nicest girls I've ever known (why'd you think I liked them?).

I eat too much whenever I'm insecure. I'm already overweight and adding to that isn't helping. I ate so much over spring break that whatever "diet" I had before that was totally negated.

I get lazy whenever I'm insecure. I have a list of things I could have done over spring break but, alas, some of them were not accomplished. Not that I didn't do anything, but there were some things I wish I could have done.

Insecurity exposes me as the self-inflated, self-centered creep that I really am. It exposes me as discontent and anxious, ungrateful and just plain stupid. I start believing the most "comforting" of the dissenting voices in my head, and most of the time it's what brings me down. I start resenting people who are not at fault, and in the process, unintentionally ruin my view of them. Any and all progress I have with my walk with Christ disintegrates whenever I'm insecure.

For some reason, I've been really insecure lately (ya think?). This has been going on for quite a while, so I know I've got a lot of things I need to deal with if I'm ever gonna move on.